I am a sucker for a good chick flick that portrays love as a simple process. However the reality is love is tough, and having a disability it sometimes can be a little tougher, due to barriers that are real or even perceived in our own minds. I long for the day I find my Mr Right and live happily ever after. I believe that there is someone out there for everyone but often the challenge is finding where that someone is. 

Love comes in so many shapes and sizes but it starts with having a connection with someone. When I think about love, I don't think about the barriers that my disability, may or may not present.  Often in my life people have the perception that I may only want to, or perhaps even I only should date someone with a disability. I'm open to having a relationship with someone, with or without a disability. 

Disability will never be a contributing factor to me finding my true love. I am a unique individual and having a physical disability plus being non-verbal obviously will be a contributing consideration in my quest to find love. I can’t hide these obvious facts (not that I would want to) and to be honest, at times it scares me that maybe these facts may scare people away from even considering dating me. Communication is said to be the key to any good relationship and in this lies my hope.  

I consider being non-verbal in this regard an asset, as my communication skills need to be on the game to spark a connection with someone and vice versa. So when I do find Mr Right, I believe I will be off to a good start, because anyone that is open to my communication must have the right intentions from the beginning.  I'm 31 and only had one partner in my life. That started from a place of curiosity for both of us. Starting as a friendship and blooming into something more. He didn't have a disability but he was open to exploring our relationship freely without any limits. Yeah sure, he needed to help me with a meal or personal care but it wasn't a big deal to him. Although we are not together anymore, this relationship was the thing that I needed to open my eyes to the opportunities love could bring into my life. I was blessed and accept now there are non-disabled people that are open to forming relationships with those with disabilities. It’s not weird or inspirational that this occurs. 

So, the million-dollar question is simple. How can I have that special connection with someone? The internet can be a beautiful thing when you are non-verbal. It cuts out support staff, who at times may facilitate my communication. Using social media has enhanced my relationships in general and has provided me with the independence required to explore this aspect of my life. At the moment I am talking to this guy online and we both have an interest in base jumping and skydiving.  Even though we haven't met in person yet, a connection is already there and we are forming a friendship. Other forms of internet dating have not been for me as I find the communication side of it hard to suss out who is serious, who is curious or who is just wasting my time. Love and relationships are hard things to navigate. I am blessed I have an active life and am immersed in numerous communities. 

So, Mr Right, I am waiting and look forward to our paths crossing really soon. I am a strong, independent and fun person to be around. You won’t find me on a dating app but I am here and ready for love.  See ya soon if you are up for an adventure!

X

To my Mr right

We are in the process of finding each other, but when you finally find me, I promise you that I will be the best friend that you have ever had. I promise you that I will take the piss out of you. I promise that I will make you laugh until you have tears in your eyes.  As you can see I'm different, but you're different too, and that's ok. But apart from this, I'm still going to love you as you are, hoping you will do the same. I don't care if you have blue eyes or a disability. All I want is love. Someone to walk through this life with, to hold your hand after a bad day. To see that smile of yours in the morning will give me so much joy in my life but for now, I am waiting patiently for you to finally arrive, and I can't wait!! 

About the Author: 

Marlena Katene is Australia’s most unique entertainment journalist. Having Cerebral Palsy Marlena communicates via an ABC Board and iPad. After completing her Bachelor of Communications degree Marlena has been blessed to interview a wide range of people ranging from Ed Sheeran, Robbie Williams and even the Dalia Lama. While her journalism focuses mainly on music she also has written on other issues and freelance writes for a variety of magazines. Apart from her journalism work, Marlena is an avid traveller and adventure seeker. In 2016 she became the first person in the world with Cerebral Palsy to Base jump, achieving this feat by jumping off the 421 metre KL Tower in Malaysia. Addicted to travelling she is always seeking the next adventure and place to explore.