When it comes to Xmas, I am more of a “sleep in heavenly peace” reveller than someone who enjoys “rockin’ around the Xmas tree”. As an Autistic human living with energy-impairing chronic illnesses, participating in traditional Xmas festivities is a challenge that comes once a year.

First, regular halls are decked with boughs of holly, clothes are swapped for gay apparel, and my safe food becomes three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. When others find this fun and exciting, my Autistic brain gets stressed out by the changes. I prefer my environment to be plain, comfortable and the same all year around.

Then Xmas heralds the ruckus of heaven and nature singing, twelve drummers drumming and jingle bells rocking. I’m hypersensitive to sounds plus lights and smells. Xmas quickly overwhelms all my senses leading to shut-downs (when I can’t talk or think) and melt-downs (when I become emotionally over-whelmed). I crave a silent night at Xmas time.

Last, there is the expectation of having a merry little Xmas and not pouting, not crying, because Santa Claus is coming to town. I’m not great at smiling on demand at the best of times, but when I must do it, on repeat across Xmas, for every gift received and every person greeted, it’s exhausting and does not bring joy to my world.

Despite these challenges, I don’t want to be a Grinch who shuns all that is Xmas. So, I must take heed of the ghosts of my Xmas-past and learn from past mistakes. Past-Charlie reminds me each year that:

• December always becomes stuffed full like Santa’s sack. It needs to start looking a lot like Xmas from November or even October.
• Putting up a Xmas tree *on* the 1^st of December is an unrealistic goal. For starters, I need at least a week to de-tangle everything that Past-Charlie carelessly stuffed back into its box last Xmas.
• During December, the shops become a Xmas nightmare with loud irritating music, migraine-inducing flashing lights, and massive dawdling crowds of people. Avoid shopping centres at all costs, especially on 24^th December – remember *that year*?! Stick with online shopping. Santa might be coming to town, but you don't have to go into town.
• Gifts don’t magically wrap themselves, nor does sticky tape comply with the laws of physics. These are magic words to bring joy to your world – “gift wrap please!”
• Cramming 4 events into 3 days equals me being a puddle of Grinch on the floor. Just like Vegemite must be carefully spread across my toast to avoid me melting down, I need my Xmas festivities spread across December.
• At Xmas events, I need to be prepared for the horror that is – chatty questions! These typically include: “what’s that you have brought for yourself to eat? Where’d you get it from? Can I have some too? Where are you going? Why are you leaving early? How’s your health?” I should practice saying: “I don’t want to talk about that today” or “I’m taking a break from talking.” They don’t need to know how you made your gravy.
• Healthy, neurotypical, non-disabled people expect Xmas events to drag on for 5+ hours non-stop. But I am not any of these things. After 2 hours of peopling, I turn into a Gremlin. Practice saying, “Bye everyone, I’m leaving to save lives!” and strutting out like a busy superhero. Note to self: Buy a cape for next Xmas.
• Wherever I go at Xmas time, I will need to take a rest. I can use the car, a bathroom or go for a walk alone. I need to pack for resting like I’m going on National Lampoon’s Xmas Vacation with entertainment, headphones, fidget toys, a snack and comfort items.
• I need to give myself permission to rest as much as needed, cancel events, turn up late, and not complete all Xmas tasks. Xmas is hard work, and the sky will not fall in if some Xmas traditions don’t happen.
• In the Xmas spirit of the above, I will not be completing this list of 10 strategies.

I hope that Past-Charlie has gifted you a few ideas to prevent Grinches and Gremlins from visiting your family this Xmas.

Merry Xmas!