Before I start this blog, I want to say I LOVE COMEDY so there may be some unintentional unconscious bias. 

I also want to say I can understand that not everyone will agree with this blog or my take on having a laugh at oneself or other minority groups, which often is the basis of many comedian’s material. Comedians always border on what is funny and what is not right or publicly allowed to be said or thought. They tread this line constantly and the one guarantee is that not everyone is going to laugh and at times people will be offended. At a moment's notice, a comedian’s career can be over if they overstep this line in the sand, which is forever changing.

I recall “sneaking” into a comedy show when I was 15 years old despite it being an 18-plus show. Now being a wheelchair user and non-verbal I kind of stand out but most of the access was via a backdoor so I was never asked for ID. The allure of being rebellious in this regard kind of appealed to me as much as listening to some adult content that at times was very politically incorrect. It was all innocent fun back then but to this day going to a comedy show and having a good ol’ laugh is the best thing I can do. Over the years many comedians, both local and international, have become friends and supporters of my journalism career thus far. I recently went to an American comedian's show sitting in the middle of the 2000 people audience, I kind of stood out as much as in my younger years. As the show progressed it was inevitable that I was to be the target of the show and the banter was had between both of us. He asked me if I got the good tickets to his show or if I just made my way up the front, as essentially, I had my own seat being in a wheelchair. I can’t really print the banter I gave him back, but it did include many expletives. I gave as good as I got and everyone seemed to enjoy it. 

I didn’t think much of it until I posted a picture of myself with him and a screen shot of him following me on the socials after.  All in a bit of fun and all for a few laughs right?

However, someone I respect in the disability community and a friend responded:

“Credit to you he drives me bonkers I struggle with the DS comments - Thanks for bridging the gap.”

This comment got me thinking can we laugh at disability without feeling guilty?  When is a joke not a joke and just plain cruel?

It was a tough one for me as this comedian started his set using language (in regard to disabilities) that in any other context, I too would disprove of. So in this regard, I understood my friends' concerns but it also made me ask myself the question:

“Why did this part of his set not bother me in the slightest and why was I not offended by it?” 

My answer to this I think lies in the fact I’ve got a pretty dark sense of humour. I laugh at things like my father walking hard into a glass sliding door and losing his SH%T at our entire family laughing at him while he hurls his beer across the back lawn. The flip side of this is I also don’t mind if people take the mickey out of me if I have done some dumb things. Having a disability, one needs to be able to be resilient and have thick skin in a world where despite everything equality still does not exist. I know not everyone will agree with this statement but being able to laugh at oneself can also help break down barriers.

Bear with me for a second while I explain. Being non-verbal often the perception is there also may be an intellectual disability. Having to get around in a wheelchair often people may perceive I am unable to be independent. If you add these two parts of my disability together there have been at times people who will walk on eggshells around me in order not to offend. Comedy in this regard can break down that barrier. Often, I will be a smart ar@#  to someone then they too can be to me. Often, I will try and beat the person at their payout of me by commenting “I’m dribbling so much today I should be a basketball player!” or something else that in any other context would be offensive. Look at Steady Eddy and The Lost Voice Guy for example. By using the uniqueness of their comedy, they are breaking down the stigma of their disability in a positive light. 

There are no filters in their routines therefore they are unconsciously challenging people's perception of disability. 

Imagine if they changed one person’s perspective in their crowd and that person then went up to somebody with a disability in their community. Someone who hasn't experienced disability themselves. They might inspire them to be more open and compassionate towards people who have a disability rather than not make contact due to the fear of saying something incorrect. 

I think context plays a massive part in any situation and often comedians tread a very fine line. 

It would be hypocritical of me to be offended by a joke on disability and then go on to laugh at the rest of the show, where other minority groups or topics get their fair share of time as well. 

In the show in question, I intentionally laughed at the beginning of the show when the disability jokes came out. Not only did this make the comedian feel comfortable but also my girlfriends and people around me as I clearly did not take offence.  There were many others with disabilities in the crowd who also laughed at the inappropriateness of the whole situation.  Why did I laugh? It’s something I can’t answer, as outside that room I would be cursing and publicly shaming anyone that would say such things. Perhaps this is why comedians now have a ‘no phone policy’ in the shows. In that context, I was not offended and numerous people after the show came up and engaged with me. My friend who commented on my post can’t stand this comedian yet she too is resilient and awesome, but our feelings differ.

Just because I was not offended it doesn’t mean others agree with me that comedy can break down barriers. It is understandable that anyone who uses ableist language contributes to society's perceptions and doesn’t break them down. So, in this regard, I am torn in what I believe. I think my opinion comes down to my personal experiences at comedy shows and engagement with comedians after. I remember going to a comedy show with friends where a comedian was joking about disability. Seeing one of my friends laughing and then suddenly stop as he didn’t want to hurt my feelings made me think is that bad if he laughed at this joke? After all, it was a joke and in that room, many other people were laughing as well. I remember seeing this friend stop laughing whereas if I wasn’t in the room he probably would have laughed. We chatted later about this and when he attends comedy with me now it’s free for all.

I don’t wish for people to be afraid to laugh for fear they may offend me. 

Laughing is the best thing anyone can do and if it is at my expense now and then I say, “Go for it!”. In saying that though let it be known you must be prepared to get as good as you give. I, like many comedians, will not laugh if I know a joke is causing hurt or pain to someone. This is the opposite of what a comedian’s objective is. There are no laughs worth causing anyone pain or hurt. Nothing at all. I have mentioned to various comedians I know that part of a person with a disability being included in society includes being open to being made fun of in the context of a comedy show. I know not everyone may agree with this but in my experience, this is my truth. I think this is my experience because the comedians I know are far from the persona they put across on stage. 

The comedians I know are not ableists yet if we judged them on the context of their onstage material it could suggest otherwise. The comedians I know often base their comedy not only on other people’s shortcomings (or perceived negative societal perceptions) but often their own. Apart from disability subjects, I know comedians of a certain race who will joke about growing up in their home country, or I even know a comedian who jokes about his mental health and depression. I know that being open about these topics (and many more) has helped their journeys in navigating a sometimes cruel world. While this is my experience with comedy and take on it all, I also fully respect my friends' opinions and displeasure for this comedian. Comedy or even some comedians are not for everybody and I get that. I would love to hear your opinions on whether you like or dislike comedy and why.

About the Author: 

Marlena Katene is Australia’s most unique entertainment journalist. Having Cerebral Palsy Marlena communicates via an ABC Board and iPad. After completing her Bachelor of Communications degree Marlena has been blessed to interview a wide range of people ranging from Ed Sheeran, Robbie Williams and even the Dalia Lama. While her journalism focuses mainly on music she also has written on other issues and freelance writes for a variety of magazines. Apart from her journalism work, Marlena is an avid traveller and adventure seeker. In 2016 she became the first person in the world with Cerebral Palsy to Base jump, achieving this feat by jumping off the 421 metre KL Tower in Malaysia. Addicted to travelling she is always seeking the next adventure and place to explore.